Refusing to Move Out at 22?!

 Hello sweeties! 

When I got the call that my family and I was picked out of many other applicants to get the 2 bedroom townhouse perfect for my small family, I was genuinely excited. 

When my fiancรฉ and I actually signed our signature on the contract labeled lease, I began to come hesitant and nervous. I wanted to walk out the office and run back to the one place I truly called home. The place where I can cherish the last of my mother’s memories.

I have to admit being in my early 20s with a small family, I thought 5 years after my mother’s passing, moving out would be a “stroll through the park” mentally – wrong!

 Moving out is a huge step in a person’s life, that’s the huge step into the real world. But actually packing up away the belongings/memories and moving away from the last place I was genuinely happy growing up in. 

However, becoming homesick was the last thing I expected to happen while in the process of moving.

I was excited for the new beginnings to come. I was looking for hours on Pinterest for modern home decor for all the rooms of the townhouse! That you can check out my creative side here

It’s about that time I take that big step into the “real world” with “real world” problems with my little family and begin to create memories of our own, in our own place. And what I mean by “real world” problems is bills,bills and more bills! When your splitting the bills amongst 4 other siblings, I was able to tuck away a good amount for savings. (Cha-Ching!) Now I have to get use to paying more cash than I would like.

It didn’t hit me that I was actually moving until my fiancรฉ asked how many boxes should he purchase for the move and which company for the moving truck.

 

I didn’t want to move anymore, I didn’t want to forget all the memories that was created by my siblings, mom and I. Every room is just how my mom left it after she passed away. 

I still decorate the Christmas tree with the same ornaments she used to decorate the tree with. 

It’s not fair to my family, I can’t be selfish to them by dwelling on something that’s a part of life and nothing  an be done away unfortunately. There’re many ways I can cherish the memories that my siblings, mom and I created while she was still alive:

  • Pictures.
  • Stories.
  • Home made videos.
  • Favorite items. (Music, food, movie etc.)
  • Activities in their honor.

And plenty more.. 

It’s going to be hard to move away from the once place I ever truly called home, but if I’m ever feeling homesick, it’s only a few blocks down the street! So I can always visit. Haha!

Until next time!

XOXO- Aneesha

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13 “More” Facts About Me Tag!

Wait. Who ARE you? Who are you outside the blogosphere? I’m tagging you to participate  in the 13 Facts About Me Tag and Tag Me in the comments, so we can get better acquainted friend! ๐Ÿ™‚

Hey there my beauties,

Lately I’ve been interested in reading “Random Facts” about me tags done by other fellow bloggers, this may or may not sound creepy but I like to get to know other bloggers outside the blogging community.

Speaking of, I also had the pleasure of being nominated formy first tag ever. The “Get To Know Me” and had an amazing time answering all the questions. Hence the the word more in the title. Haha!

You can check out the full scoop about me here!

I have to admit ever since the first tag, I’ve been hooked! Without a doubt I’m freaking excited to be able to participate in yet another 13 “More” Facts About Me Tag. 

I would love to give credit to my girl Shayla at Plus Diaries. She’s a fabulous personal stylist and a amazing blogger! I know if I like her,  you guys will love her! Definitely check her blog out, you won’t be disappointed.

I hope you guys enjoy reading the 13 “More” Facts About Me just as much as I had fun answering them!

1. What do you order at Starbucks?

๐Ÿ™‚ This may sound.. unheard of lol but I never been to Starbucks ever. I heard they have amazing lattes! I just never got around to trying one lol. I know I’m horrible. I seriously can’t be the only girl that hasn’t tried Starbucks.. right? Lol

2. What’s one thing in your wardrobe that you cannot live without?

Right now, I cannot and will not leave the house without my comfy leg warmers. I live in Pennsylvania and let’s me just say, Mother Nature has her own agenda up here when it comes to the weather.

 This upcoming week is suppose to rain and snow (FML). However, As long as I have my leg warmers I’m a happy camper. Lol

3. What’s one thing most people do not know about you?
Most people have zero idea that I can outeat a grown ass man ๐Ÿ˜‚. It’s as if I’m a cow and  have 4 stomachs or something! My stomach is seriously a bottomless pit for delicious food. ๐Ÿ˜‹ (Now I’m hungry)

4. What’s one thing you want to do before you die?

I’m terrified of heights, so one of these days or decades..I’ll either jump out a plane or go bungee jumping. Both activities sound equally horrible lol but I have to conquer my fears.

5. What’s one food you cannot live without? Do you seriously have to ask? lol if you follow me on Twitter I’m always talking about my obsession for pizza and tacos. Especially the deliciousness of a taco. ๐ŸŒฎ 

6. What’s one quote you live your life by?

If you don’t build your dreams, Someone will hire you to build theirs.”

This quote is what inspired me to start blogging again. If I want to progress in life I have to work hard each day tires that goals to see any type of progress. It’s now or later!


7. What do you like / dislike about the YouTube / blogging community?

Pro: For the small/beginner bloggers the blog and YouTube community is very supportive of one another’s work.

Con: Now I can’t speak for everyone, however we all started at the same spot once upon a time and it’s called the bottom. Some people get out quicker than others and some don’t have the opportunity of getting out hat spot. All I saying is, if a fellow blogger,writer or entrepreneur looks to your for support or guidance. That should mean something.

8. What’s the number one song on your iPod or iTunes?

Ariana Grande- Side to Side FT Nicki Minaj
This is what’s playing anywhere that has speakers and I have access to the aux cord.

9. What kind of style would you describe yourself as having?

I love anything cute, colorful and classy. Granted, I’m only 21 years old (I’ll be 22 in April) I’m still a mother and want to dress appropriately while out  with my family.

10. What is your favorite number?

The number 3, now that I think about it I don’t know why that number is my favorite. Maybe it’s because I’m the third child ๐Ÿค” but other than that, the number 3 has not brought me any luck at all. Lol

11. What are two hobbies?

Of course writing/blogging and I like to pretend I’m a contestant on Chopped and whip of random recipes using random items to see if it taste good- it never does. โ˜น๏ธ

12. What are two of your pet peeves? You want to know what grind my gears?! 

  1. People that eat with their mouths open.
  2. A slow driver. (MOVE IT GRANDMA!)

13. What is your guilty pleasure?

Late night Taco Bell trips. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŒฎโค it doesn’t get better than Doritos Loco’s Taco at 1 in the morning lol. I even know the staff by name because I’m always eating there. Is that strange? ๐Ÿค” I didn’t think so either! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Welp this concludes the 13 Facts About Me Tag and I hope our friendship has blossomed since the last “Get To Know Me” Tag, that you can read here. I enjoyed myself once again. And to anyone reading,  I’m tagging you to participate in the 13 Facts About Me tag and 3 blogged that I personally picked.

Shaienna Monique.
Takeia Cage.
Raneisha Stassin.
Until next time!

Be Bold | Be Brave | Be You

XOXO- Aneesha ๐Ÿ’‹

How Becoming a Teenage Mom Saved my Life.

Hello my sweets, 

As many of you are aware, I had lost my mother at the age of 16 two days before Christmas in 2011. One little piece of information I have left out was that few months later after my mom’s passing, I was not expecting to receive the news that would change my life forever.

I was in denial that I was 11 days late on my period-I’m never late, 28th day of each month for 5 days! This routine has been apart of my life since I was 12 years old and all of a sudden it wants to do something out of the ordinary and not arrive on time! It was out of ordinary and it definitely made me raise an eyebrow.

The thought of pregnancy was at the very bottom of the list, I was going through a lot during that time frame anything could’ve been the cause of my period being late. 

  • Stress.
  • Medication.
  • Excessive exercise.
  • Illness.

Stress had to be the cause of my late period right? I mean sure my boyfriend and I were “knocking boots” the month prior (Sorry, TMI) and sure I read online that after day 3 of a late period that’s a tell sign you’re pregnant. But you don’t believe everything you read on the internet right? I was a rock stuck in a hard place.

Yet, it made sense why I went with stress as my reason for my late period, I was still grieving my mom’s death. But taking a pregnancy test wouldn’t hurt right? So I thought, I’ll never forget the day I was sitting on the bathroom floor shocked after tearing through 3 boxes of positive pregnancy test of any brand you could think of! I was definitely pregnant and the thought that I couldn’t tell my mom, broke my heart into pieces.

After my mother’s death I was certain I was going to conflict self harm or even worse. I couldn’t face the truth, that the one person I need the most in my life is gone. However, the reality of me becoming a mother hit me hard, once a heartbeat was discovered stronger than ever at my scheduled doctor’s appointment later that week. It’s not about me anymore. Regardless of how I was feeling or thinking, I had a baby that needs their mother just like how I need mine. I refuse to put my child(ren) through the emotions and pain I was experiencing from losing my mom.  I had to get up and learn how to support and be a mother to my own child, and I had no clue where to begin or who to go too. 

I went with my instincts and hoped for the best.

January 6, 2013 at 10:06 pm, I was greeted by a 6 pounds 1 ounce, 19 1/2 inches long baby girl that I named Adrienne. (I got her name from Adrienne Bailon from Cheetah Girls.) 


 It seemed as if Earth stopped spinning, and everything slowed down once our eyes met with one another’s for the very first time. Once they laid her on my chest, first thing I thought was “Your the little ham that refused to move your foot away from my ribs all these months!”. Haha


 It was if all my fears, worries and concerns we’re gone. I fell in love the second I laid my eyes on her coming out the womb.(Yes, I watched through a mirror and it was gross but very beautiful thing to watch.)

Whenever the nurses cleaned her up and family and friends departed after welcoming the newest arrival to the family. I was nervous but ecstatic to have some alone time with my bundle of joy.

We would stare at each other for hours, nothing could break our concentration. Then one day something went off in my head-I played a part in creating this little human, which gave me a superior feeling that I am strong and can do anything as long as I put my mind to it and never give up.

My daughter is now 4 and from that day forward, I thank my daughter for saving my life. The day I discovered I was expecting, was the day Adrienne became top priority in my life, she was my responsibility. I had to protect, love, guide and shelter her, and what better person to take on that huge responsibility than your mom? 

My daughter changed me in so many ways, one day I was knocking on the Grim Reaper’s door begging him to take me away from all my problems. Now the thought of my children and I separate for any reason makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Thank you so much Adrienne and Carter for being the piece that filled the empty space in my heart. Mommy will always love you! 

Until next time!

XOX – Aneesha.

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Get To Know Me Tag!

Hello my sweets,

2017 is starting off amazing! Some of the goals that I set for my blog to achieve this year I already had the pleasure of completing! For example,

  • Stay on a consistent schedule. (Monday,Wednesday and Fridays.)
  • Promote blog posts on social media.
  • Collaborate with other bloggers/entrepreneurs.

I’m beyond excited to see what this year has in store! There’s no where to go but up from here!

 One goal I was eager to get started was building a bond with other bloggers. Here’s just a few entrepreneurs and bloggers that I’m thankful of having the opportunity of collaborating or receiving they’re knowledgeable tips that I know you guys will think the same.

These amazing bloggers and entrepreneurs have many ideas and projects in stored for this year that I know you guys don’t want to miss, Check them out.

The one piece of advice each blogger/entrepreneur can all agreee with was to get my readers know me on a personal level. I was floored with the idea and was ecstatic to get started. Besides, I couldn’t wait to share this idea with you guys! 

I consider the blog community my second family and I love you guys like a fat kid loves cake haha! 

1.) What is your middle name?  Mลna, Ever since I was younger I never liked how my middle name was spelled. So I took it upon my self to change the spelling to Monae lol.

2.) What was your favorite subject at school? Reading. ๐Ÿ“–โค

3.) What is your favorite drink? I can’t get enough of orange juice, I can drink it anytime of the day. ๐Ÿ˜‚

4.) What is your favorite song at the moment? Ariana Grande Ft. Nicki Minaj- Side to side. โค๐Ÿ˜

5.) What is your favorite food? If I could eat tacos every single day .. I would. ๐Ÿ™‚๐ŸŒฎโค

6.) What is the last thing you bought? I purchased makeup remover wipes and a light up Barbie toothbrush for my daughter.

 7.) What is your favorite book of all time? 21 Dares by JC Gatlin. This book is such a page turner you guys will enjoy it.

8.) Favorite color? This is a hard one, of course Pink. ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’˜

9.) Do you have any pets? I have one dog that I consider my baby brother, His name is Nikko.

10.) Favorite perfume? Crush by Rihanna.

11.) Favorite holiday? … Christmas use to be my favorite holiday but my mom’s death date is 2 days before Christmas, so I choose Thanksgiving as my favorite…

12.) Are you married? Iโ€™m engaged. ๐Ÿ˜Š

13.) Have you ever been out of the country? ๐Ÿ™„ I wish! Traveling to Australia is on my bucket list. I don’t know when I’m going – but I can’t wait! ๐Ÿ˜‚

14.) Do you speak any other languages? Unfortunately no, I want to learn Spanish. 

15.) How many siblings do you have? I have 5 total, 3 from my mothers side and 2 from my fathers. I even have a sister that’s 2 weeks older than me! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฑ We’ll get into detail about that later.

16.) What is your favorite shop? Forever 21 is my favorite place to shop, If it’s still around when I’m 50 I’ll still be shopping there haha. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™„

17.) Favorite restaurant? I always loved diners, so Dennys.

18.) When was the last time you cried? Haha this past Saturday, This story is actually funny. My right tire to my car Lucille (that’s my car’s name by the way.) had went flat, so I got frustrated and kicked the wheel because I was tired from work and wanted to go home and I slipped and fell on my ass because it was slippery from the rain! I was so upset but I was crying from laughing. ๐Ÿ˜‚

19.) Favorite blog? I seriously can’t choose! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ I have TONS of blogs that I read on the regular basis that I consider my favorite. However, The Blush Mom has caught my full attention.

20.) Favorite movie? This is a hard one too! But my favorite movie that know word for word is Bugs Life.

21.) Favorite TV shows? I can watch Roseanne all day, I have all her seasons recorded on my DVR. If I want a good laugh after a horrible day of work I turn on Roseanne and laugh until my ribs ache.

22.) PC or Mac? Of course Mac.

23.) What phone do you have? The Dark Gray iPhone 6. I want to upgrade to the iPhone 7. Does anyone have the iPhone 7 recommend it? Please comment. ๐Ÿค”

24.) How tall are you?  5ft 3 1/2 inches tall. 

25.) Can you cook? Um ๐Ÿ˜ no, I don’t know how to cook but I’m willing to learn lol hubby runs the kitchen. ๐Ÿ˜‹

And that’s pretty much that basics for little ol’ me. Do the “Get to Know Me” challenge and tag me so we can get to know each other! 

Until next time!

XOX, Aneesha

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Stomach Cancer Scare: My Worrisome Procedure with the Gastroenterologistย 

I knew I was afraid of being sedated but it felt as if I was standing outside my body, watching myself look at the reflection I seen before me. The day already started off unusual for me – I had an appointment to get an Upper gastrointestinal endoscopy performed at 9:30am that morning and I had to fast for 12 miserable hours! No food or drink, not even water for 12 hours. I repeatedly asked God what did I do to deserve this, Couldn’t even eat my favorite “nerves calming” chocolate chip pancakes before this traumatic moment I’m about to experience. A young “overall healthy” woman has to get a upper scope to find the cause of my 15 pound weight loss in a matter of a week and why I was vomiting blood. 

I’ve been eating hot and spicy foods for as long as I can remember – Hot cheetos to be specific and I think after almost 15 plus years of eating them delicious spicy food, It finally took a toll on my stomach.

It was an agony 42 minutes to get to the hospital and the sick feeling I was experiencing wasn’t trying to leave the pit of my stomach. My fiancรฉ and I finally arrived to the G.I lab after getting lost for additional 10 minutes, Luckily I decided to arrive to my appointment an hour early! (Take that my lack of directions!) 

The staff was very nice which made my anxiety meter go from 9 to a 5. I had to be accompanied with a driver due to me being sedated for the procedure and the drugs would have to wean off. They gave my fiancรฉ an alarm that will set off in four different colors to keep him updated during my procedure.

  • Pink: Waiting Room
  • Light Green: Pre-Procedure Room
  • Dark Green: Procedure Room
  • Red: Recovery Room

Pink: Waiting Room / Light Green: Pre-Procedure Room

I proceeded to follow the nurse back to a room full of other patients also receiving procedures, from colonoscopy to arthroscopy. The nurse gave me two bags to put my items in, 2 hospital gowns and a IV of saline in my right hand while I waited to get the procedure done. I tossed and turned the entire time in my hospital bed, watching as the technicians would roll each patient out the room to get their procedure done to never see them again (dun dun dun) lol just kidding. Finally after an hour and 36 minutes a male technician proceeded with questions of my patient demographics and proceeded me to the procedure room.

Dark Green: Procedure Room

The technician was preparing me for what was ahead, asking me “Have I ever had a procedure done?” And “What were my symptoms?” After explaining I have been puking up blood and fainting on my coworkers for the past week in a half, I hope this procedure get the answers I need. He then proceeded to spray my mouth with a spray that will numb my gag reflex so that the camera can safely go down my throat. He told me to hold my breath and sprayed, He definitely didn’t warn me, because I could of sworn he got my tongue instead the back of my mouth. I asked to repeat the process but he insisted he had the right area affected with the medication, He then placed a mouth guard into my mouth that would keep my mouth open during the procedure. It was very uncomfortable, I kept thinking in my head “How do people find this kinky during intercourse?” Laughing in my head the technician interrupted my thoughts by telling me to drool on the paper towel – Gross! But of course I obeyed his orders. I felt like defenseless drooling all over that towel and the mouth guard made it impossible to stop the drooling if I wanted too. The specialist to perform the procedure greeted me with a wide bright smile and stated “If there’s something wrong on the inside, I’m going to find it.” I felt in great hands at that moment, and my anxiety meter went all the way to 1. She proceeded to check my vitals and started to put the sedatives into my IV. I didn’t like this feeling at all, My breathing began to slow down and my vision began to blur. It felt as if I worked 5 twelve hour shifts with zero sleep and I’ve been living off of Red Bull and coffee! AKA the sedatives we’re working. And in 1 second, Everything went black. I recalled the doctor either feeding the tube into my mouth or trying to take it out, However, of course I began to panic (I had a tube in my throat!) and made an attempt to swallow the tube (as if that would help me.) and all I remember the male technician yelling “She’s awoke!” And I went back out.

Red: Recovery Room

After gaining consciousness, the male technician proceeded to roll me out into the rocvery room where all the patients I thought I would never see again reside. He proceeded to tell me the doctor would be out shortly to explain what she has found during the procedure. Accompanied by my fiancรฉ at this time, We we’re both alarmed and afraid. “What did she find?” “Can it be fixed?” I was offered graham crackers and apple juice after the procedure that I couldn’t bare to touch. My throat felt soar, and I felt woozy from the sedatives. 13 minutes later, the doctor accompanied my fiancรฉ and I by the hospital bed separated with a sheet from the other patients. She began with stating she performed a biopsy during the procedure to rule out any infections or cancer. My heart dropped, not the “C” word. She stated the results will come back in a few days and depending on which day the biopsy completes, I’ll be eithered mailed a letter or contacted by the nurse of the results. She proceeds to say to make a follow up appointment in 6 weeks and to take it easy for the rest of the day. 

I felt deaf in both ears and didn’t want to believe that cancer may be the cause of my roller coaster of symptoms. I’m going to remain optimistic. That’s all I can do at this point.

Until next time!

XOX,

Aneesha 

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Grieving Through The Holidays

Hey lovelies,

 Christmas is quickly approaching and so is New Years and .. my mother’s anniversary of her home-going celebration. 

Even though it’s going on 5 years since her death, There are days that are difficult to get through than others. But I still manage to tackle the day as best as I can. However, What about the millions of people who find celebrating the holidays difficult? The holidays are supposed to bring joy and create new memories with your family and friends. But when one has to experience the loss of a loved one, Celebrating the holidays is literally impossible to do. The season can bring back good memories and also painful memories for one to go through.

 I didn’t realize it would take a lot of time and energy to adjust to life without my mom. It takes time mentally to tell yourself to never go back to that unhappy place and to gain control of your happiness! That’s what our loved ones want, not us crying during the holidays. 

They want us celebrating and smiling!

I know nothing is better than the presence of our loved one that passed, But you can keep that person’s memory and spirit alive by doing something in honor of them. For example:

  • If they would volunteer around the holidays, Do the same at a shelter or hospital.
  • If they would normally have Christmas dinner at their home, offer to organize or prepare a dish for the Holiday meal.
  • If your not a church going person, But the person that passed was, Go to church and also pray you get through this.

I’m sending my love and my support to anyone battling this right now. Be brave and keep your head up!